Think About It

I just signed up with two blogging sites. TheGoodBlogs, and Blogtoplist. Now, the pressure is on for me to write more coherent, entertaining comment.

Up to now my blogging has been just for me, but now I feel as if I’ve got to perform, be better than I am, and show the world my blog is worthy of a visit.

Or, I could continue to write as I always have, from my heart, then mind, and let the blogging chips fall where they may.

If no one visits my blog, and I never make it to the top ten, what does that mean? Absolutely nothing.

Visitors and rankings are both welcome, but I can’t change who I am for either. If I did that it would no longer by my blog, but someone else’s whose primary interest is generating hits.

No, not for me. I’ll just continue to mumble along, writing whatever passes through my brain and hope that sincerity of purpose will rule the day.

The greatest artists in the world, musicians, painters, authors, dancers, etc., create art first for themselves. If the world appreciates their work all the better, but they are true to the creative urgings that surge through their bodies. That is the beauty of the creative person.

In a small way, I hope to tap into that creative mindset.

Thoughts

Some people are rude. Perhaps their rudeness comes by a lack of knowledge or ignorance of the law of being nice.

What is the law of being nice? Simple, if you’re nice to people, people will be nice to you. Not too complicated is it? Then, why do so many people have trouble adhering to this principle?

Selfishness could be one answer. The selfish person only thinks about themselves and their universe. They fail to see how their actions affect the people they come in contact with. Their vision is myopic, which denies them insight into a larger world. A world in which their very own myopia impacts negatively upon their being.

Used to be when you gave your word, nothing else was needed. If you said you’d be at such and such a place at a certain time, you’d simply be there. Today, appointments really don’t mean anything. People keep an appointment, or not, at the slightest whim with no consideration of the inconvenience they cause anyone else.

I just don’t understand people like that.

This is over simplistic, but proves a point and illustrates the law of being nice. Try this, smile at someone, and see what happens. More than likely they will smile back. That’s it, in a nutshell.

Of good manners, Edmund Burke says, “Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.”

The Golden Rule is golden for a reason. It works!

Thoughts

I feel as if I’m in the movie, “If It’s Tuesday, This Must Be Belgium”, which is a movie about a group of travelers from the United States who race through seven countries in 18 days.

In short, too many things to do, and too little time to get it all done.

Here’s what happened today.

I looked at my the calendar on my iPhone and saw my daughter had a dentist’s appointment at 8:30 AM. I told her about the appointment last night, everyone was on board, all set to go.

We left the house this morning with plenty of time to get to the dentist’s office, and arrived at the dentist’s office with five minutes to spare.

As we pulled into the parking lot we noticed there was only one car parked. I think, “This is great. We’re the first ones here.” We walk into the dentist’s office, and are graciously told by the receptionist that our appointment was for Tuesday, not today.

After I wiped the egg off my face, we made another appointment which I’ve written down in conspicuous places all over the house, so this won’t happen again.

My daughter was not upset at all, and neither was I. It was a simple mix up, and proof that at times our lives are more complicated than they need to be.

We left the dentist’s office and decided to have a father/daughter in-car breakfast. McDonald’s was our destination, and we had an enjoyable breakfast as we drove to school.

Missed appointment, hectic life, yes, but I had a chance to have breakfast with my daughter which made it all worthwhile. :-).

Thoughts

We’ve got two. Kyle and Katie, brother and sister, litter mates.

We’ve had them since they were eleven weeks old, and they will be celebrating their birthdays on December 15th, of this year.

They are a Harrier-Beagle mix. Most everyone is familiar with the Beagle breed, not as many people are familiar with the Harrier.

This is a Harrier:

And this is a Beagle:

Our dogs are right in between. They are slender like the Harrier, and certainly taller than the Beagle.

Their tales are more Harrier like. The tails are thinner and solid black in color, ending with a 3/4 long white tip. My guess is that they are more Harrier than Beagle.

Here’s a picture of Kyle and Katie reposing after a hard days play.

Thoughts

BLL - Big Lovable Lug. That’s Kyle, one of our Harrier-Beagles.

Kyle has a sister Katie, who is a good bit smaller than her big brother. Katie deserves her own post, so stay tuned.

Now, about Kyle.

He is 100% unbounded joy. When he sees you his tail starts wagging, then the wagging moves right up his body to his head. He is so happy to see his owners he just bounds with joy. He is a big, goofy, jump like a deer when playing dog. He’s all boy.

If there is a puddle of water in the backyard, Katie will walk around the puddle. Not Kyle. Oh no, he’ll run right through the puddle, then run back through it again, then decide there must be something buried under all that water and proceeds to furiously dig a hole to unearth his treasure. As he digs he, throws water and mud in all directions. As his head disappears into the watery hole we fear for his safety, but he’s fine.  His head comes out of the hole, soaking wet with so much mud you can hardly see his face, and now, soaking wet and covered with him, he concludes there was nothing in the hole after all, and he decides to come into the house.

We see him approaching the house looking like a mud wrestler who lost,  so we get towels ready to wipe him down before he comes in.

Just as we’re about to let him in, Katie decides that she misses her brother, and at the instant we open the door for Kyle, Katie gets between us and the door, and Kyle bounds into the house spraying mud all over everything. His body is muddy, his paws look like mud meatballs, and here he comes, wagging his tail, jumping on the bed, with the biggest smile you ever saw. He shakes his body to rid himself of the excess water and treats everyone near him to a mud bath. Any discontent with the mud he brought into the house is washed away by the joy he exudes which is infectious.

Like any young boy, Kyle is a handful of times, but we love him.

Kyle, our big lovable lug.

Thoughts

We just came in from our daily walk, and the puppies are doing very well. The occasional squirrel is a distraction, and when Kyle and Katie see a squirrel, the only thing on their mind is, “Get that squirrel!”. Other than that, they’re doing pretty well.

When I first started training them I used choke collars on both the dogs. The collar worked, in that it choked the dogs, but also had a detrimental effect. It seems the metal of the choke collar was wearing away some of the hair on their neck. We were concerned that it might be an allergic reaction, but the vet assured us it was just the metal of the choke collar rubbing against their fur that was causing the loss of fur around the neck area.

He suggested a gentle leader, which is a device that fits around the dogs muzzle and neck. However, the dogs have full use of their mouth. They can drink, eat, bark, etc. It does not restrict their mouth movement at all, and the loop around their muzzle rests gently on the muzzle, so causes no trauma to that area.

Using the gentle leader, has been a great improvement over the choke collar. Almost immediately their pulling decreased by 90%, now we’re working on the remaining 10%.

I’d like to say that our walks are pull free, but they haven’t gotten there yet. But, each day brings us closer to the goal.

The gentle leader is a great invention that works. It’s certainly worth a try.

Thoughts

I love getting mail, and I love the sound of the UPS truck bringing some new goody to my home. Of the two, receiving a package from UPS is the clear winner in the, “Who do you like to receive things from contest.”

Today, I’m expecting a package from B&H photo. Nothing big, just a lens filter. Low cost item. Yet, every five minutes I open the living room door, poke my head out, and listen intently for the sound of the UPS truck.

I do have to leave the house today, so I may not be home when UPS arrives. I’ll still get the package, no signature is required, but I will miss the thrill of hearing the truck come down the street, then stop in front of my house, and watch the man clad in brown disembark the truck and make his way to my front door.

Am I the only one?

Thoughts

There is a special time of day reserved for man and beast only. It it the time I walk the dogs, Kyle, and Katie.

The three of us leave our safe home, heading out into the great unknown of our neighborhood.

Each day we take a slightly different walk around the neighborhood, sometimes turning left instead of right, or going just one more block before deciding to go left. Variety.

The other day we met Felix, a great looking dog who is the same age as Kyle and Katie. Tails were wagging and all three dogs had a great time. Felix may even come over to play sometime.

Sometimes our walks are peppered with great conversations. It’s me that does most of the talking, but Katie and Kyle are attentive listeners, always eager to what I’ll say next. If it were only so with humans.

Walking the dogs is a good method of exercise for me and them, and they are great fun to watch as they look, and smell, getting familiar with their surroundings.

It’s becoming a part of my day that I greatly look forward to.

Thoughts

The other day I happened to be on the island of Sicily.

As I was wondering around the island, I stopped to take in the breathtaking views. While looking at the landscape, I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder. As I turned around, I saw a lovely young lady, and recognized her as a waitress from a restuarant at which I ate lunch.

She asked me if I would take her picture so she could send a copy to her boyfriend who was away from home on a “secret mission”. Knowing the history of Sicily and the Mafioso, I inquired no further as to her boyfriends activities. Ya never know.

Here is a picture of the lovely Maria.

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There are a few things I like about mornings, and a few things I dislike about the first part of the day.

Mornings begin at 12:01 AM. Night is over, and morning has begun. Yet, if one wakes up in the middle of the night, which is usually around 2:00 AM or 3:00 AM, they never say, “I woke up in the beginning of the morning.” No, the statement usually is, “I woke up in the middle of the night.”

Does the lack of sunlight have more power on our psyche and cognition than the actual time of day? I think it must, else, when we wake up in the early hours of the morning, we would not say, “I woke up in the middle of the night.” The middle of the night would be around 6:00 PM, which we refer to as evening. So, when does night start, and evening end?

But, back to the subject at hand.

What I dislike about mornings:
1. They arrive too early in the day.
2. They remind me how tired I am.
3. They are not all the same. That is, Monday morning has a different feel than Tuesday morning, just as Tuesday morning has a different feel than Wednesday morning, etc.
4. Monday morning is my least favorite.
5. Sunday morning is fine, until I realize the next morning I shall see is Monday morning. Then, Sunday morning becomes nothing more than a precursor to Monday morning, which is my least favorite morning.

What I like about mornings:
1. Nothing negative has yet occurred.
2. The slate is clean. There is an opportunity to do better.
3. Realizing that it is morning is a healthy sign.
4. Mornings are a time when you can plan your day, and envision smooth sailing.

Thoughts

There is nothing wrong with my math. In the strictest sense two plus two does indeed equal four. But, children are being discussed, not numbers, so any type of mathematical formulas have no relevance.

You’re most likely reading this because your curiosity was piqued when reading the page about my family. Or, you’ve just stumbled upon this blog. If the latter is the case, why not read the Family page, then return?

I have four children. Two by the traditional method, and two by adoption. And, yes, that does equal four children. But, “Two Children Times Two Equals Two” doesn’t refer to the quantity of children, but to the experience of having children.

Most men get to raise children once. I have been blessed with a second opportunity to try again, and learn from past parental mistakes.

My first wife and I divorced (for reasons that are still unclear) about 25 years ago, give or take a few years. My daughter was around 7 at the time, and my son 10. Looking back, the divorce was not a bad thing, spousely speaking. For the children it was devastating. For the father, me, it was a pain beyond which I’ve never, or ever experienced since then.

What the divorce robbed me of was the experience of raising my children. Yes, I saw them every other weekend, but that’s not raising your children, that’s visiting them. There was so much I wanted to do with them, but the time was always too short. Returning them home was heart wrenching, and I would cry till I fell asleep. Each time they returned to their mother, I felt as if my entire innards were emptied out and crushed. There was nothing left inside, only the pain of the realization that they were not with me. I do not have the words to express how horribly I felt. Even today, some twenty five years later, the pain of those parting moments has the same impact it did then. It is a memory I shall carry with me forever.

I missed my daughter growing up, all the little things that happen to a girl, from adolescence, to a tweeny, to teenager. The weekend visits provided a glimpse, but I never heard about her girlfriends, what she was thinking about, and most of all, I could no longer give her a nightly good night kiss, something which completed my day.

Likewise, with my son. There were so many things about him growing up I don’t know about, and there is no way to recoup that knowledge lost.

Then, I met my current wife who had two children, roughly the same age as mine when I got divorced. In short time we were married, and I found myself twenty five years later with two children, the same ages as mine when my divorce took place. It was as if I had been given a second chance to be a father, a second chance to parent once again.

Here I am, learning all about a little girl, on a daily basis. The clothing, the friends, the sleepovers, all that makes up a girl. And, I am experiencing what life is like with a teenage boy, an experience I am not terribly sorry I missed.

I close this post in a bittersweet mood. Jubilant that I can experience all I missed with my natural children. Sad, that I missed the experience at all.

Two sets of children, one natural, one adopted, one missed opportunity, one opportunity lived on a daily basis. Time has gone forward and been pulled back at the same time. It’s no wonder that, two children times two equals two.

Thoughts